just barely really holding it together

a delicious cocktail of

self-dissatisfactions
>body hate
>brain hate
>fairly uncontrolled fear of impending death by free radicals/self-dissatisfactions

barely contained by

obsessive-compulsive behaviours
>vomiting
>buying food and not eating it
>looking at food blogs
>thinking about food all the time and panicking when i have to eat it
>buying shit i don't need

followed by random and indiscriminate

anxiety meltdowns
>at work
>at people who aren't really involved and certainly aren't at fault
>at home

and concluding with hours and hours of desperate sleep, in the hope that when i wake up i'll have a better idea